Have you ever blanked on a monologue before? This happened to me during my Off-Broadway debut and I’m still so embarrassed… but here’s the lesson I learned.

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It was the year 2000 and I was cast straight out of my youth acting class in a play called “Rags” as David, a young Jewish immigrant boy coming to New York with his family.

This was my first play ever and it was Off-Broadway at the American Theater on 54th St between 8th and 9th avenue. Needless to say, I was very excited to be a part of this show.

I remember the rush of joy I got driving into the city from Queens on the 59thst Bridge and seeing the oncoming barrage of buildings that made up the city skyline.

It was like passing through an ironclad gate and I was invited.

Arriving at this 1970's theater and climbing onto the stage two hours before anyone else was magical. 

As we got closer to showtime I could hear the hum of people filling the audience grow louder and louder. In a matter of minutes, one conversation would erupt into hundreds of chattering voices—the way an ember could find its way to a roaring fire.

Curiously, I would make the smallest peephole between the curtains and peek out to see my friends and family fill the rows night after night.

It was complete bliss and I was in heaven.

The play opened with a spotlight on me—alone on stage—recounting this story about living in Poland, traveling with my "Mama and Papa," and all the wonderful things I was going to do once I got to New York.

I nailed it every night like clock-work until one night, I COMPLETELY BLANKED.

I was only a couple of lines into the hefty monologue when all of a sudden my words and thoughts escaped me.

I just froze and the silence around me grew.

I thought to myself if people weren't paying attention to me before now they definitely were.

Normally not a sweaty person, I was drenched in sweat as my heart pounded through my little vest.

I could not conjure up the next line for the life of me. I said the only words that I could remember at the time, "I'm sorry."

I just kept repeating these words over and over out into the audience.

After a minute of this agony, a stage manager must have given word to my "play mother" and she came and whisked me away in character and the play was able to move on awkwardly through the remainder of the night. 

I felt horrible for weeks, afraid to perform that monologue again. I was young, embarrassed, and clearly inexperienced.

However, this traumatic event would go on to shape the rest of my career as an actor.

THE LESSON

At nine years old, "working on my script" did not mean anything to me. I've come to learn that memorizing is not a skill that lives solely on the tip of your tongue, but rather inhabits your whole being entirely.

If I had known then that a monologue comes from deep within your character’s soul, and isn't so much a collection of words on a page, but instead a treasure trove of feelings manifested into words then perhaps "young Eddie" would not have blanked. 

There is so much more to delve into when it comes to monologues. I go over this topic in detail in my coaching sessions because actors must have at least one monologue in their toolbox. Already have a monologue you’re working on? I can help freshen it up. Don’t have a monologue? As part of the coaching experience, I help you choose the right monologue based on your type and we will work on it until it’s camera ready. I will meet you where you are and push you to the next level. It’s now or never… Ready to take the leap?

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